A glass of wine to settle the surprise

I want to be able to say that at the end of my career and life.  "I did what was best."  

So there will be many people that will be absent in good portions of my life.

but then again.  There will be many people absent in my life at all times.  and i to them.

I'm very big on the idea of life.  

figuring things out.

dealing with its horrible humor.

and enjoying its cultural aspects.

and in part of life i am not one to have people take care of business for myself.

i like the touch and feel of an experience.  the horrible twist in your throat.

the sweat in your palms.  the eye contact that sometime you miss out on.

there may be lots of times when people will say horrible things.  say shit to your face.

try to level with you when they are thousands of miles from what you are thinking at the moment.  I must admit,  maybe i will do the same thing as what i hate.  but as time takes, i will do so less and less because again... i like to feel out experiences.  and with the consistent touch of something all too familiar, i will stop what i hate myself.

(i have no respect for those who say i understand you.  when they really do not.  and same to those who think they understand you, but they have no clue.  but i have more respect for them than those who stick to their false conclusions,  those who do not try to decipher what really happened or those who stick to stereotypes.  of course you can be all these things.  and maybe all these things are you.  its okay, you may not have my respect, but at least i understand a little part of you.)  

my thoughts jump. yes.

but keep up. because they make sense.

this is just the introduction.