Starting a new era in this time of my life.

its the end end of school. its where i hit the end of the sand, and I see the vast waves of water. see the current hit my toes see the water rush in towards me. I take a step in and i'm okay. i take a step more, and the water rushes around my ankles, roping me cold then pulling away. I take one more and the cold comes higher and pulls away. Further and Further I reach, the cold enwrapping me, pushing and pulling. It is the new world I enter, and my comfortable life I loved so dearly, I have to say adieu. Because being trapped to the sands and the land only restricts. Just like the cowboys who searched and roamed all the lands, and claimed it all theirs. They claimed things they cannot claim, they claimed things that weren't theirs. And once they claimed, they could not move because their would be others just like them to take and claim. I cannot be that man, for I am meant to roam. to travel free and to let go.

its the numerous measly smiles that got me.

maybe it was the way i struggled.

maybe it was the way i couldn't hold the broken portfolio, the filled bag on the other, all the while bundled up.

normally no one would look at me.

but as soon as I entered the bus it was as if they looked at the black abyss in my hands, then looked at my eyes and gave that sorrowful look.

the floor was wet.

my feet where wet.

the dark black started tearing within its creases.

i held it close by and even moving it made others look at me and give me that smile.

even if they didn't notice because I was sitting, they noticed when I stood up.

Held that black wall to my chest.

maybe it was the way I held it.

I held it like it was heavy.

I held it as if it were a dinosaur baby.

I held it like i didn't know how to hold it.

how do you hold a carrier that has broken handles.

whatever it was, those smiles made me feel self conscious.

and i was rained on all the ways there and back.

Valentine's Day Print

Last year, Luis and I were sitting around the apartment paying attention to one of the such: tv, music, or art.

Victor had asked us the night before Valentines day if we had a Valentines.

We both smirked and said no.

Then I look over to Luis and asked him to be my Valentines,

and to celebrate with me by doing nothing.

He shrugged and said sure.

The next night we were doing the exact same thing.

sitting around doing artwork, watching tv.

Victor and Cheri come home, Victor asks, "Did you guys do anything? Go out to dinner or anything?"

I look at him and said "No, we're doing exactly what we said we were gonna do. Nothing."

and that was how we celebrated.

by coexisting.

and that was good enough.

no, it was great.

This year, in lieu of it all. For Luis, and just the fact that I do love you all,

I had made a small print edition of about 26 to pass out on Valentines day.

If I run into you, you'll probably get one unless I get paper boy happy and give them all out.

Just photo references for projects

sunken ship idea for next project

Rock Collector references for new project

mondays are the days i collect my thoughts.

time to wipe the slate clean and prepare myself for the rest of the week.

contemplate over where i'm going, clean my act. clean my room.

clear my table.

make my bed.

put those clothes away.

or lay them neatly in a pile

the most important is the table. wipe it clean with one swipe, but then clean that mess up.

i need it clean.

it must be all clean.

so that way i can make it dirty again.

with my paper cuts.

with my images.

and those ideas. the ones that are spilling out.

then clean that up.

move on.

move to the next room.

clean that up.

make it dirty.

clean it up.

clean it all up.

clear it out.

move on.

seriously, someone in the library took my coffee today.